Can We Communicate Effectively Without Body Language?

THE SKINNY
In a world where we now communicate at least 50% of the time by e-mail, texting, and telephone, what happens to our body language? If you consider that during face-to-face communications, usually 55% of our message is delivered via body language, then you begin to realize how much is lost when we utilize today’s new communications tools and methodologies. We are now forced to rely more on the weight of our words and our voices than on the messages our body language might send. How can we reconcile this disparity and still communicate effectively in the 21st Century?

THE STORY
According to Debra Desmond from Real Perspective Coaching, we naturally speak non-verbally to others by the way we use our eyes, arms, hands, and legs, and these non-verbal messages speak FIVE times louder than the words we use. Our body language can communicate whether we like or dislike someone, agree or disagree with them, or are simply indifferent.

For instance, eye movement reveals what the mind is focusing on (e.g. an emotion, conversation, or a story). Our hands can communicate power, intimacy, or disinterest, and the position of our legs can tell others subconsciously if our mind is contemplating fight or flight responses. In full, our bodies add a whole dimension to the story we tell others when communicating. These are facets are lost when we are challenged with spending much of our day communicating by phone, text, and e-mail.

THE SCORE
Having worked on a lot of virtual teams, I’ve found that it is always beneficial to bear the additional cost and expense of having in-person project kick off meetings. This benefits the team and the project by helping to build rapport and relationships between different team members before the real work of the project begins. I now realize that this is also the only time those team members will be able to see each other and read each other’s body language and personalities. Who on the team is an introvert and who’s an extrovert? Who’s reserved? Who’s expressive? Who has a sense of humor, and who doesn’t?

I think the difficulty of losing body language as a facet of the way we communicate is that we are still communicating, but are we communicating well? Do we know the person we are working with? Do we know what’s important to them and what drives them each day? Can we read them and tell if they are having a good day or a bad day? Having to rely on just each others' voice and the written word makes communication more difficult. I forces me to listen more closely to someone’s tone of voice and ask a lot of clarifying questions.

In print, without the advantage of body language, it’s easy to take someone’s words out of context. For this reason, when writing an e-mail, I sometimes try and take a step back to make sure what I’m writing is clear and professional before sending it (e.g. take the emotion out of it). When given the choice, I find that telephone and face-to-face communication is preferable because you can better “read” how your message is being received by your audience and you’re able to respond quickly if there is a misunderstanding.

In the big picture, I think reading and understanding body language is vitally important because our day to day work is not just about the work but the people, however, we’re challenged today with trying to relate and understand each other better in a virtual workplace without the benefits body language. What’s the answer? The trick I think is to tread lightly, listen well, ask questions, and request face-to-face meetings for important meetings whenever possible.